While there are about 1,000 + ways to get yourself kicked out of a bar, there’s about 10x more ways to piss off your bartender, thus fueling our excitement to jump to the chance to throw you out. Here’s one way… Personally, this is the one that get’s me the most giddy to either give you the boot, or to ignore you.
Don't make me bust out the jigger and measure the alcohol right in front of you.
DO NOT EVER… I repeat, EVER tell the bartender they didn’t make your drink strong enough. If you want a double or a triple, tell us that when you order it– That way we can make it right for you the first time, and charge you appropriately. Otherwise, if you just say “I’ll have a gin and tonic,” I’m not dumping half the bottle into your drink and still charging you for one, and frankly, most bartenders who do that have no clue that they’re probably going to get fired. Sorry, I like my job.
The thing you have to realize is that my boss is looking at two things when I’m working to decide if I’m doing my job the way he expects me to:
- The number of people that are at my bar
- And the amount of money I hand in at the end of the night.
When those two things are off proportion, it means I’m stealing or giving away too much of the alcohol he or she is paying for. If the bar was crowded all night, and my sales are only $100… That means I have away HUNDREDS of dollars worth of his product. Any respectable business person would kick that employee to the curb and more than likely, press charges on them.
Now, there are always exceptions to these rules. If you’ve been in the place all night, spending your money, tipping me well, and buying drinks for other people… absolutely I will accommodate your requests (within reason), and you might even find yourself receiving a few drinks that you don’t have to pay for. But keep something in mind… someone is paying for the alcohol you’re drinking. It might be me putting some of my tip money into the drawer to make up for the product I’ve given away, or it might be my boss giving me permission to give you that drink and taking the hit on his income. I agree 100% that these are good business practices – it helps build our business and it keeps you coming back. If you come back and spend your money at my bar; if you tip me well – I will make sure you are taken care of. But I am going to do it honestly.
So, long story short… if you want a “hookup” (I put it in quotes because it isn’t a hookup– someone is losing money on it) at a bar, your best bet is to get yourself noticed by the bartender. It won’t kill you to buy a round for the guy next to you who took time to start a conversation with you. It wont kill you to chat with your bartender and get to know them. It won’t kill you to throw us $2 a drink in tip (instead of the 50 cents that’s left over in the change you get back from buying the drink) to get our attention. Things like that get you noticed, and in a good way! And in the long run, if you’re consistent with it, you’ll be considered one of the regulars where not only will I make sure you’re taken care of, but my boss won’t think twice about buying you a drink either. What you absolutely don’t want to do is tell me I don’t know what I’m doing because your drink isn’t strong enough after you left me no tip. I do know what I’m doing, otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it… and for that matter, I will measure the alcohol right in front of you, and you won’t get a drop more than you’re supposed to.